Love you nanamma.

I often get vexed with how short tempered we can be at times. All my life I’ve known only of one person who never lost her cool. She was level-headed even at the most difficult times. She’s my nanamma.

 I never for once remember her shouting at me. NEVER. Even when I was being a jerk. I still don’t understand how she could do that so effortlessly and with lots of love. I wish I would be like her. I try to.

Tomorrow will be three years that she left us forever. After all this time I still cannot come to terms with the fact that she’s no more. Every time I listen to the sound of an auto entering our lane I still involuntarily try to get up to go out and catch her hand like I always used to. Every time someone is mean to me I get reminded of her and how she used to fiercely protect us. She was an amazing person. I’m sure she’s watching over us from above. 

I feel her presence on some days and on the other days I get really angry that she left too soon. I couldn’t even say a proper goodbye to her. I couldn’t be there with her during her final moments. I hate myself for that. I miss her a lot. I miss her goodbye hugs. I miss her shouting my name. I miss her laughter. I miss her love. I miss her. I really do.

Love you Nanamma,
Spurthy