Please Listen.

Listen. LISTEN. Please listen.

How many of us actually listen. I know a very few in my life who actually do. It’s puzzling right! What does anyone has to lose by listening to others? Nothing actually. But still we don’t listen. Why? I’ve asked myself this question a billion times. I’ve squished my answers to broadly divide people into two categories.

                I would call the first set of people “I know all”. These people don’t listen. They just try to give you probable reasons for your problems. They don’t let you speak completely. They often cut you down to either give you their opinion or to counter your arguments. It’s very annoying to deal with this kind of humans. You feel irritated, uneasy, angry and rightly so. We find many around us who belong to this category. This kind of people can still be dealt with because you still have many others to seek help from. The actual inconvenience is caused by the second set.

 

                The second set is a bit difficult to deal with because now, you not only have to deal with your problems but also them. Let’s call them “My version is more pleasing”. The people from this category listen to you. But just when you are thankful for that, you realize that they have owned your story and now start re-telling it in a different way. The new story woven by them has nothing to do with what you have told them. You try telling them that. Instead they try convincing you to accept their version. They do this because most of the real problems in life do not have answers. Hence, to give you answers to your problems they weave a superficial addition to your story. They demand you to re-question the pain you are going through just because your problem-pain proportions don’t match their standards of what pain and problems should look like.

                This causes additional pain and agony because you start over-analyzing every emotion of yours. You doubt your pain. All of this drags you back into the pit hole and erases whatever little progress you have made in the direction of healing yourself.

                So, what do we do now? Simple. Don’t act in the direction of what these people point at. It’s difficult to differentiate between what advice you should take and what you need to ignore. But face this difficulty now rather than getting influenced by the not so right opinions of some people and there by hurting yourself later.

Wishing you strength

Spurthy