Deal with triggers in a healthy way.

How to do that?The honest answer is, I don't know. I'm a borderline failure in dealing with triggers. But let me try dissecting the whole scenario of being triggered by something. So, what is a trigger? The general definition according to psychologists : "A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma." 

         This is a layman's explanation. The whole domain of triggers is  very complex phenomena. It's very personal and different to each individual. Most of the times our immediate reaction to a trigger is to lean on to something that would divert our mind and wouldn't let us relive our trauma. This could be as simple as just singing out loud a favourite song, playing an instrument, working out, and painting, to something as harmful as getting indulged in alcoholism, taking drugs, hurting ourselves to numb the pain. These are all our shields to protect ourselves from feeling the pain.

           Some might advice you to feel the pain. I won't do that, at least at the very beginning. If you ask me why, I feel that asking someone who has survived a traumatic experience to feel the pain is not a wise advice initially.It's like telling someone who is having period cramps to just be okay and that it's only a temporary pain. What the hell! I know that. It's better to give them a hot water bag to relieve themselves of the pain. I feel that the same goes with dealing with triggers. Choosing how we respond to triggers is harder than it looks. So, if anyone of you is finding it hard to deal with your respective triggers, I completely understand what you are going through. The least I can tell you is not to be scared if you are acting a certain way when something triggers you. It's okay.

         At first, it's okay to shut your emotions because it is very painful to deal with your trauma head on. So, it is okay to take support of something to distract yourself. But, please note that some of these distractions would be harming your health. This is very difficult to deal with especially when you are in so much pain and I completely get it. Yet, let me remind you that the whole part of you not wanting to relive your pain speaks a lot. It means you want to be happy. It means you want to do better. Give yourself a pat on your back just for that. So, make this 'want' to be happy a sustainable one. That can only happen if you don't burn out in the process. Take baby steps initially and figure out eventually what works for you. Don't blindly follow others because healing is a very personal process. You should make your own rules. You should jot down your own Do's and Don't's. It is definitely a long long journey. But it is worth it.

Much strength to you.
Spurthy